Proving EVs Don’t Make Good Getaway Cars…

Gorgev /
Gorgev /

It doesn’t matter what kind of heist you are planning, there’s one thing they pretty much all have a need for: the getaway car. But as two attempted thieves prove, not all criminals think this through very well.

Now, to be clear, I am not a thief of any kind, nor am I some criminal mastermind. However, as a logical and fairly educated individual, I would assume that an escape car would be at least a thought when planning or even not really planning a crime. Or at least that’s what all those TV crime shows present.

I mean, the whole point of any crime is supposed to be able to get away with it, right?

Therefore, I would assume that whatever that escape vehicle looks like, it needs to be reliable and inconspicuous, one would assume fast and clearly able to carry the weight and size of whatever you need, be that either gear or your newly claimed property.

But for two men in Georgia, the importance of such an escape car must have slipped their minds. That’s not to say they didn’t have one. But what they chose wasn’t exactly the best choice for the job – that and neither of them made sure it was fueled up and ready.

Introducing who I am going to henceforth refer to Bonnie and Clyde, as they were attempting to be thieves on the run, but their names have yet to be released.

According to WAGA-TV in Atlanta, officers of Gwinnett County’s North Precinct were called to the scene of a robbery recently. The two suspects had allegedly taken a number of gaming systems from an unidentified retail store.

Upon arriving at the scene, the officers did what they do best: investigate to find the culprits and where they had gotten off to. Naturally, part of this process was to interview any and all witnesses, of which there were several.

All the witnesses said basically the same thing, the two men had loaded their treasures into a Tesla and drove off.

Now, as some of you might be thinking, a Tesla might be a smart idea. I mean, no need to stop for fuel, there isn’t a lot of noise to draw one’s attention. And, since they are a fairly high-priced vehicle, it’s not exactly what police would assume to be harboring a couple of criminals.

However, all of that is only true if the Tesla is fully charged and able to make it a safe distance from the crime scene and supposedly offload its wares. Given the time it takes officers to respond, interview witnesses, and fully assess the crime scene, the thieving pair could have likely made it safely and inconspicuously to somewhere like Athens, Rome, or even Cairo (Georgia, that is).

But as luck would have it, they didn’t.

Instead, the pair was found just minutes from the crime scene, where they apparently had to stop to charge their Tesla before leaving town or finding somewhere to hide out.

Apparently, they aren’t criminal masterminds either, or even average minds.

Of course, some of that may be due to what else officers found in their not-so-reliable getaway car. In addition to the stolen gaming systems, “several firearms (and) two pounds of what officials believe is marijuana” were found in the criminals’ possession.

Did they take some of the latter before committing their theft? Given their lack of or inescapably stupid escape plan, it certainly seems plausible.

In any case, the lesson here is that besides using your brain, if you are going to commit a crime in which a getaway is needed, perhaps an electric car isn’t the best choice. And if you do go that route, make sure it’s adequately charged prior to needing said escape car.